A man is like a cat; chase him and he’ll run; sit still and ignore him and he’ll come purring at your feet.

Life begins at 40—but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person three or four times.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of it.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love the quest; marriage the conquest; divorce the inquest.

A marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.