Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little "personal characteristics”.

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.