Humor e Ironia

Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.

Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Let us read and let us dance—two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.

The only cure for vanity is laughter. And the only fault that’s laughable is vanity.

People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table.

Bores bore each other, too, but it never seems to teach them anything.

A bore is a fellow talker who can change the subject to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours.

Everybody has the right to express what he thinks. That, of course, lets the crackpots in. But if you cannot tell a crackpot when you see one, then you ought to be taken in.

A fanatic is someone who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule or the cook.

I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ’em to match the men.

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with.

I have a theory that you can make any sentence seem profound by writing the name of a dead philosopher at the end of it.

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.

I am not given to finding fault, for there are innumerable fools.

Even the gods love jokes.

An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.

He is one of those orators of whom it was well said, ‘Before they get up, they do not know what they are going to say; when they are speaking, they do not know what they are saying; and when they sit down they do not know what they have said.’