The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.