If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

[London:] A place you go to get bronchitis.

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

No matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question, he will persist in answering you in French.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Amnesia is a condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

My favorite animal is steak.

When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.