Humor e Ironia

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

Classical music is the kind we keep hoping will turn into a tune.

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you’re a Canadian and people laugh.

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.

Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.

I like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!

There is a general prejudice to the effect that lawyers are more honorable then politicians but less honorable than prostitutes. That is an exaggeration.

Well, I don't know as I want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire him to tell how to do what I want to do.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

The wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others than in showing a great deal yourself.

Why doesn’t the fellow who says “I’m no speechmaker” let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?

The safest road to hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

 

Come good times or bad, there is always a market for things nobody needs.

I bowl so slow that if after I have delivered the ball I don’t like the look of it, I can run after it and bring it back.

One always tends to overpraise a long book, because one has got through it.

If someone says, 'It's not the money, it's the principle,' it's the money.

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

I am the very pink of courtesy.