Humor e Ironia

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally, even when you know what you're talking about.

Man has his will - but woman has her way.

The difference between outlaws and in-laws is that outlaws don't promise to pay it back.

This is one of the compliments that mediocrity pays to those who are not mediocre.

Every American bride is taken there [Niagara Falls], and the sight of the stupendous waterfall must be one of the earliest, if not the keenest, disappointments in American married life.

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.

[ J. Cheever Loophole, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Why don’t you come up sometime, and see me?

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

An attachment à la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not too French French bean!

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

No families take so little medicine as those of doctors, except those of apothecaries.

To obtain a man's opinion of you, make him mad.

In the end, everything is a gag.

Some who have read the book, or at any rate have reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible, and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works... J. R. R.

Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity.

If there were no husbands, who would look after our mistresses?