Marriage

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

A person of genius should marry a person of character. Genius does not herd with genius.

Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to. J. R. R.

 

The best part of married life is the fights. The rest is merely so-so.

The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage appear.

[ Rufus T. Firefly, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one you’ll become a philosopher .

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.

Love is often the fruit of marriage.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies are ended by a marriage.

A marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Love the quest; marriage the conquest; divorce the inquest.

Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should refuse an offer of marriage.

Twenty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building.

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.