Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

There’s one way to find out if a man is honest—ask him. If he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook.

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I am all for women’s rights—and for their lefts too.

I’m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it’s not raining.

You know, you haven’t stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.

Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse.

[He] may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you: He really is an idiot.

I love everything about you. Your lips, your eyes, your voice. The only thing I can’t stand is you.