sergey_dobrenkov

Break me up to starlight
Tear apart these walls
Break me up to starlight
'Till nothing else recalls

Each crushing wave
Transforms the pain
Into pure light
Again... again...
Your force Divine
Makes crystals shine

Pierce through my shell
With burning Grace
As I dispel
What You erase

Break me up to starlight...

Breath turns to crystal
In the empty air
My fingers aren't mine anymore
Time slipping away
Is this what stars feel like?

The cold crawls deeper now
Through every vein and bone
Is this what stars feel like?
When they're burning all alone?

Can't feel my heartbeat
Against the arctic wind
My thoughts are floating free
Beyond my frozen skin
Is this what stars feel like?

The cold becomes so beautiful
As consciousness takes flight
Is this what stars feel like?
As they pierce the endless night?

The boundary dissolves
Between earth and sky
I'm turning into light
Is this what stars feel like?

* * *

This is how stars burn out
Strung by the higher Thought
On firmament of heaven
Billions of light-years apart

Embers dance, beneath my breath,
Where the heart is crowned.
Time becomes a flame…
Let old be cast down.

A body formed of dust, with fiery brightness thrilled,
And sanctified by Grace’s cooling breath instilled—
No element or creature could have that body killed;
After the fall of Adam, it became
A dark vessel made of coal, with moisture filled.

Coal must become a diamond,  holy flame…
It shall resurrect as soul’s own state may claim:
Transfigured, with a new blessed name,
Or in continuously deepening and endless shame.

What is worthless is destroyed by fire
And is scattered by the wind;
Freeing the trapped most pure light,
Forcing diamond's facets shinned.

When silence is the radiance of soul,
And every earthly voice at last is dumb—
The time will roll up like a scroll
And the Eternity will come.

Watch me fall apart,
Watch me burn to ashes.

Far beyond the stars
Can you hear me now?
Through the endless dark
Breaking somehow

Oooooh, reaching out...
Reaching out to you
Oooooh, breaking out...
Breaking out for you

Calling, calling through the night
Sending signals, burning bright
Calling, calling, can't you see?
There's a space where you should be

Miles of empty sky
Still I send my sign
Though you're far away
Find me, make it stay

Calling, calling through the night
Sending signals, burning bright
Calling, calling, can't you see?
There's a space where you should be

Beyond the stars
Beyond the dark
Beyond time

Through gaping chasms and depths untold,
Thou leadest me into Thy light;
Each grief I bear, each loss I hold,
Makes stronger still my faith's pure might.

Thou carvedst me deep, through trials and knife,
Each cut a step to eternal Life.
The weight of the cross, the sting of the thorn,
In the crucible of love, a new heart is born.

Through shadows that linger, through starless night,
Thou’rt grinding my edges till I shine just right.
Every scar tells the story of Grace,
Every flaw touched by a Saviour’s embrace.

Like a diamond in the rough, I was hidden, unseen,
But Thy hands, O Lord, make the broken gleam.
Like stars above,
I’ll reflect Thy boundless love.

Purified by suffering’s flame,
I’ll rise and glorify Thy name,
A jewel cut by Thy hand.
Let me sparkle in the promised land.

So rest, O soul, in the Saviour’s hand,
For the Master’s touch is never in vain—
Let Him grind and polish as He hath planned.
A humble jewel I shall remain.

Shine, crazy diamond, shine!

I reach my hand across the space
Between your heart and mine
But something holds me back today
Like facing a Divine

The closer that we try to get
The further we drift away
I thought that time would heal this wound
But years won't make you stay

Your touch upon my skin feels cold
Though fire burns within
A wall of glass stands clear and strong
Where does this void begin?

I thought that love would break these chains
That bind us far apart
But now I know some distances
Live deep inside the heart

The truth lies in this emptiness
Between your soul and mine
We chase what we can never catch
Till end of space and time

Till the end of times...

On the verge of waking and of sleep,
Where does my dreaming fancy stray?
Into what chasms, bottomless and deep,
What starry wanderings far away?

All was so logical – then, crack…
The links all vanished without a cause,
The broken circle closing back,
Inside-out pictures float against all laws.

And I am still the same, yet otherwise,
I soar above a starry ocean,
And all the planets, in strange guise,
Circle, a ghostly caravan in motion.

And I have long since left the Earth,
Around me nets of fate are thrown,
What little thread in this dim haze
Will be my shaky guide, alone?

Then – such a void, an empty vast,
Beyond the boundaries of the past,
I'm god, I’m slave, I’m glory from a dust,
And I'm eternally reborn, being last.*

What music in my breast
Sings, pulses, trembles, flying –
She worries in the silent rest,
And slanders with idle torment sighing.

By what holy strength am I
Cast upon a flat, bare strand –
All is over. And my cry
Wheezes above a swollen gland…

…………………………………………………

*Then – such a void, an empty vast,
Beyond the boundaries of the past,
I'm god by Grace, I’m humble slave,
I’m glory created from a dust,
And I'm eternally reborn, being last.

A moment past, I felt the weight, the ache, the cold;
And now, outside myself, my own dead form behold—
Unmoving and unbreathing, face all bloodless, white,
Bearing the stamp of death. O miserable sight!

I sense that I am not alone: unknown powers fill the air.
With horror I feel darkness writhe and coil everywhere.
On every side, the swarming shadows grip and press—
They count me as their prey, they claim my helplessness.*

They waited; they were always close to me,
But I, within the thickness of my flesh, could never see.
Their multitude—with burning coals instead of eyes—
Slowly, relentlessly, they tighten their grim ties.
I hear their whisper, hissing, and in every sound
My name, my secret acts, all echo round.

Now I perceive how awful and complete
The severance from God, the dread, the dark defeat.
I know that now, this very instant, is the test
On which my everlasting destiny will rest.

I scream, but in this gulf my voice is quickly dead.
I call upon God’s name, but lips without a tongue, with dread,
Cannot pronounce it boldly—only with shame I find
That I’m unworthy even to bring that Name to mind.

Each sin of mine arises like a living trace.
Oh, if I could return for just one moment’s Grace!
I strive to call to mind one single deed of light,
One heartfelt prayer—but everything sinks in the night,
In that black sea where all my memories drown.

I stand upon the edge, about to go
Into the unknown, to reap what I did sow
For every word, each deed, each thought I know—
That I’ve amassed...
And now I cannot cancel what is past.

I lift my gaze to where the Angels ought to be,
My last hope—the All-Pure One’s intercessory plea.

…………………………………………………………………………

*I feel I am not all alone: strange powers surround.
With horror I perceive how darkness coils unbound.
From every side the swarms of blackness press and throng;
They count me as their prey, to whom I've belonged long.

Hellish waves have embraced me
To the depths of my soul.
The abyss takes me away.
My soul has become thin and weak.

Oh, my God, my God!.. Don't leave me.
Inhaling You, I exhale contrition
In the killing reflection of stars.

Let all words become non-existent,
Like burnt comets,
Like fallen leaves, let all words decay,
Turn into scattered ashes...
And only Your uncreated Word will rise!

You thought you owned the night,
But the night owns you.
A shadow dancing in a borrowed light,
A ghost in rewound time,
A ghost in fading blue.

Rock and roll is dead from the start,
And you're all dead with it.
You've never contained anything more than this emptiness.
Rock and roll is dead from the start,
And you're all dead with it.
Your eyes are blinded by passion and conceit.

The leather jackets, the ripped-up jeans,
A costume party for a false dream.
You can’t resurrect what never lived,
A tombstone anthem, no love to give.

Rock and roll is inherently dead,
And you all are dead with it.
You’re dancing on graves, but the music won’t rise.
Only motley ribbons and smoke under neon skies.