Society and the World

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, january, September, April, November, May, March, june, December, August and February.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I was once so poor I didn't know where my next husband was coming from.

I wouldn't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk as me.

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax.

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

(a) How much did you make last year? (b) How much have you got left? (c) Send (b).

When they fire a rocket at Cape Canaveral, I feel as if I own it.

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock.

Saving is a fine thing - especially when your parents have done it for you.

I handed one of my creditors an IOU and thought thank heavens that's settled.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

I had my credit card stolen, but I didn't report it because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Things could be much worse. I could be one of my creditors.

They don't put indicators on your car in Beverly Hills. They figure if you're that rich you don't have to tell no one where you're going.

Wealth is any income that is at least 100 dollars a year more than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.

I'm going to Iowa to collect an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to pick up an honour from the French government. I'd give it all up for one erection.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I never climbed any ladder: I have achieved eminence by sheer gravitation.