Humor e Ironia

The work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

You look wise. Pray correct that error.

THERE ARE TWO WAYS OF DISLIKING POETRY, ONE WAY IS TO DISLIKE IT, THE OTHER IS TO READ POPE.

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness.

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing-glove.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.

Nothing is as obnoxious as other people's luck.

A pessimist is one who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Let the credulous and the vulgar continue to believe that all mental woes can be cured by a daily application of old Greek myths to their private parts.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm Going to be if I Grow up'.

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

No woman marries for money: they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.

Generals detest generals on their own side far more than they dislike the enemy.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

I'm sorry, my good fellow, but all my money is tied up in currency.

Now that he was rich he was not thought ignorant any more, but simply eccentric.

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, january, September, April, November, May, March, june, December, August and February.