Humor e Ironia

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

I had my credit card stolen, but I didn't report it because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

They don't put indicators on your car in Beverly Hills. They figure if you're that rich you don't have to tell no one where you're going.

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.

The Oscars are two hours of sparkling entertainment packed into a four-hour show.

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

I never climbed any ladder: I have achieved eminence by sheer gravitation.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Success didn't spoil me; I've always been insufferable.

He was as successful as a celluloid dog chasing an asbestos cat through hell.

The sooner we get rid of losing, the happier everyone will be.

You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smouldering sexuality don't always win, I'm sorry to say.

Do not take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.

No problem is insoluble given a big enough plastic bag.

He that first cries out "Stop thief!", is often he that has stolen the treasure.

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

I like a man who grins when he fights.

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

Although he knew who he was; although he was aware of his celebrity, he always took it with humor and always laughed at it and at himself.