Humor e Ironia

Nothing is as obnoxious as other people's luck.

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing-glove.

A pessimist is one who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist.

Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

Let the credulous and the vulgar continue to believe that all mental woes can be cured by a daily application of old Greek myths to their private parts.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm Going to be if I Grow up'.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

No woman marries for money: they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.

There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Generals detest generals on their own side far more than they dislike the enemy.

I'm sorry, my good fellow, but all my money is tied up in currency.

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, january, September, April, November, May, March, june, December, August and February.

Now that he was rich he was not thought ignorant any more, but simply eccentric.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

I had my credit card stolen, but I didn't report it because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

They don't put indicators on your car in Beverly Hills. They figure if you're that rich you don't have to tell no one where you're going.

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.

The Oscars are two hours of sparkling entertainment packed into a four-hour show.

I never climbed any ladder: I have achieved eminence by sheer gravitation.